And the hits keep coming. I went out for coffee with my asister last Sunday. She's performing our wedding ceremony at her church (she's obviously a pastor). I expressed how stressed out I really am about the planning of this grand soiree. She calmed my nerves a bit but then asked me how I thought I was going to handle the families processing into the church.
Ummmm...I HAVE NO IDEA.
So, we have my amother (martyr extraordinaire...has to make everything about her)...my nmom (who really doesn't care what happens as long as she's invited and can see me on my special day)...S's father and stepmother and his mother and stepfather who are civil but that's about it. I know it's my day but I am slipping back into my depression about trying to please everyone else and not myself.
In a perfect world, my mothers would walk down the aisle together...a united front...proving that I CAN have a happy ending and S's parents would be able to actually talk to each other without the tension being thick like pea soup.
On a brighter note, I made an appointment to try on dresses....ummm...anyone wanna take bets on whether I can lose 50 pounds by April 20th?
WTF.
It's your day. It's your day. It's your day. It's your day. It's your day. It's your day. It's your day. It's your day. It's your day. It's your day. It's your day. It's your day.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, nuts to your amom if she can't put up a tightlipped grin and deal for your big day no matter what you decide. For the 50 lbs...um, maybe lose a few minor organs? A spleen or appendix, perhaps?
Do not stress about losing weight. You are going to look mah-vel-ous! (smile) And do what feels right to you. I second that amom needs to put on her big girl panties!
ReplyDeleteMy sisters handled this parent issue the same way (their weddings were 9 months apart): They had everyone take seats, including the parents, and only the wedding party proceeded, then they and their fiances processed in together. Yes, this violates the "groom seeing the bride before the ceremony" thing, but if you don't care about that, it's a WHOLE lot less stressful.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I tried to to the "traditional" thing, and it was really hard keeping the moms from bickering (mostly via hostile messages sent THRU us), and it was ridiculous that I pretended my dad had the relationship with me to "give me away." I respect my sisters' solution. And it really wasn't awkward at all. Just kind of "independent" feeling. Nobody complained, and nobody fought!
As for the 50 pounds - why the pressure to alter yourself on a short timetable? It's a big event, yes, but it's just one day, not the whole marriage. And I echo "It's YOUR day!" Congratulations!