Two: Holy Crap, Really?

Apparently I'm back in the game folks...lol.  I was going to write one HCR post a week but the blogs/sites keep falling in my lap.

I was perusing my Google Reader yesterday, right after I wrote my last post, and came across this gem.

Actually, I could just post the title of the post, "You Know You Are Ready to Start Thinking About Maybe the Possibility of Adoption When…" (Holy Crap, Really?) and leave it at that but I'll choose some of the items from the list and go from there.

You find yourself noticing families that don’t obviously match and wonder if they were created by adoption.

Holy Crap, Really?  Yeah, actually I do the same thing...and then I think about the child and weep.

You make note that these families act kind of like other families.

Holy Crap, Really?  Funny how necessity is the mother of invention.

You make a second note that these families, especially the parents, look happy.

Holy Crap, Really?  Wait...WHAT???

When you hear of a tragedy in another country, such as the Haitian earthquake, rather than just thinking “How sad”, you think “Hey, there may be kids who need parents, and here we are parents-in-the-waiting who need kids. Humm, I wonder???”

Holy Crap, Really?  YOU DON'T NEED KIDS.  Period..end of story.

Just the tiniest little piece of you is more curious than afraid of the thought of adopting, while the rest of you is still terrified and feels like adoption would be giving up.

Holy Crap, Really?   Wow.  At least this person is honest, right?

You start to find those lists of famous adopted people fascinating http://www.creatingafamily.org/adoption-resources/famous-adoptees.html. Who knew that Steve Jobs and Faith Hill were adopted? They even seem pretty normal.

Holy Crap, Really?  "They even seem pretty normal."  Oh, what, as opposed to all of us angry, bitter adoptees floating around the blogosphere??

One: Holy Crap, Really?

The blog that I have chosen to highlight for my first HCR post is that of a Potential Adoptive Parent.

The nursery is being painted..furniture is being bought...paperwork is being completed...the fate of seeing "their" baby's face is in the hands of another person...and if you don't watch your back, she'll call her Case Manager on you!

Holy Crap, Really?

This couple is going to be adopting from Ethiopia.  Currently, they are 15 in line for a girl and 5 for a boy.

She offers up several reasons for why things might slow down for them though (I'm not quoting all of them here but you can read the post for yourself):

It is the "rainy season" in Ethiopia. This happens every fall for about two months. This season means that courts are closed, so families that have not been to court will have to wait until October when court reopens to go or be given a court date. This always causes a backlog, so the next few months will slow down. Add to that, the Ethiopian MOWA department is processing fewer cases than years before, so families are not typically passing court when they go- a specific letter has been delayed for most families so the families have to come home from the first trip and wait until they get court clearances to then be given an embassy date... this means the whole process of the two trips takes longer. So the babies that are already at Hannah's Hope will be there longer than "normal" so it means less children are coming in... does that make sense?

Holy Crap, Really?  I mean, this woman is actually lamenting the fact that there will be less kids coming into the orphanage???  And damn those court backlogs too...Don't they know that nothing should keep a person from getting child?  Not even the Ethiopian rainy season!!

Several orphanages closed in Ethiopia, including one that AGCI contracts with. Hannah's Hope, the transition home that our baby will come from, partners with several government orphanages including one that just shut down. These orphanage closures were for many reasons, including the Ethiopian government wanting to find an alternative solution to the orphan problem aside from international adoption.

Holy Crap, Really?  Let's gloss over the fact that the Ethiopian nation probably wants to be sure that the kids they are giving away weren't actually stolen from their families, shall we?  Shame on their government for wanting to get away from child trafficking, right?

Some families have been referred children that were at one of these now closed orphanages, and their cases will require more time and work- so these children won't come home on a "normal" time frame. (Please pray for these families and children!!!)

Holy Crap, Really?  I mean, REALLY?  I'm supposed to pray that orphanages open back up so children "come home on a 'normal' time frame"?  What the hell does that even mean?

And then there is this:

We knew we had a desire to adopt, but we didn't know from where. The domestic options were much more affordable, but they tend to be much more unpredictable and sometimes a longer process. Additionally, we do not know how long we will live in North Carolina, so we didn't feel that a domestic adoption would suit our situation.

So with the decision made to go international, the options seemed to be too numerous to count. However, we quickly realized that our options were actually very small. Each country has certain criteria you must meet if you want to adopt. We realized that our age, our length of marriage, and our income limited us to only two countries: Bulgaria and Ethiopia. After conversations with our friends who have adopted from Ethiopia as well as our agency, we decided that Ethiopia was the right choice for us.

Holy Crap, Really?  They aren't adopting domestically even though it's cheaper because it's a longer process...WE WANT A BABY NOW!  Their options were limited though because they didn't fit certain criteria...they are young, haven't been married long enough and they don't make enough money.  Excuse me if I don't have ANY sympathy for this couple.

And yes folks, they WILL be celebrating Gotcha Day..you can bet on it.

Milestones. As an adoptive parent, milestones are treated differently. You may miss significant milestones, like the first smile/craw/laugh/walk/birthday. But with adoption, you get to not only celebrate birthdays, but can also celebrate "gotcha days" when a baby finally becomes an official part of the family. With pregnancy, you get to watch the milestones from the beginning, even with the development in the womb during ultrasounds.

"I Love Adoption" ::thud::

I'm taking a one day break from the 30 Days of Truth challenge to rant and rave about a blog I've featured on one of my Blog of Shame posts.

She's disabled comments because of the anti-adoption trolls (muahahahaha) but I wanted to just point out WHY she remains one of the top Blog of Shame authors.

She and her husband are waiting to be put on the wait list with her agency still.  But it looks like that'll happen soon enough.  Want know why she loves adoption?

Here's her most recent post.

I've copied and pasted a list she included in the post.

I love adoption for so many reasons:



*opportunity to be a mom


*opportunity to be a family of 3


*meeting AMAZING people who have or are considering adoption


*the bond adoptive parents make...it is so instant, very similar to the bond I have made with other Army wives

Clearly, in her eyes, adoption is NOT about finding a home for a child for whom there is no other option.  It's about her.  It's about other adoptive parents.

It's not about the child, Folks. 

Is Adoption Right For You?

Please read Kim's post and find out for yourself. 

Linky Doo

I know, what a lameass title..but I'm tired and cranky and I've had another migraine for the past 48 hours, deal with it.

I don't always agree with some of the things the blog author of the linked post writes.  I'm sure if she reads my blog, she'd say the same thing.  But I love her latest post and wanted to give it some linky love.

Open Letter to Adoptive Parents and PAP's

Will You Join Me?

Since there's a lot of buzz on the internet lately about "Positive Adoption Language", I have been thinking about doing a post myself about "Things That Adoptive Parents and Potential Adoptive Parents Say That Make Me Want To Sob".

I'm going to list some of my top sob-inducers and would love to hear from all of you that read my blog about what phrases or words really boil your blood.

Email me at opphiejane at gmail dot com (also located on my profile page for easy access) and I'll post the results at a later date :)

1. Adoption is the new pregnant.
2. I may not be carrying a child, but I'm still suffering with "Paper Pregnancy".
3. I've been considering parking in the expectant mothers' spots at the stores…after all, we may not get our child for another year, but I'm still expecting!
4. Pregnant women are Breeders/Brood Sows/Tummy Mummies.
5. Our adoption was ordained by God.
6. Don't worry about the anti-adoption haters…they just had crappy childhoods.
7. I pray that the birthmother makes the right decision and gives us their baby.
8. Would you have rathered been aborted/left in a dumpster/raised by a drug addict?
9. Obviously your birthmother chose to give you a better life.
10. The birthmother chose us to be the baby's parents…the birthfather should respect that.
11. I'm offended when adoptees call their biological parents their "natural or first" parents. WE are our child's real parents!
12. Genetics and biology don't matter anyway…it's who has raised the child that matters more.

Now for what it is worth, I am not limiting this exercise to include just adoptees. If you are a natural/adoptive/potential adoptive parent, feel free to send along your own list about adoptees, or even other NP's/AP's/PAP's. I look forward to hearing from all of you!

I'm not doing this so that we all get mad at each other either.  I just realized that that was how this might all come off sounding.  I just think it's important that we all try and see things from the different members of the triad.