Cheating Just A Bit

I posted this on my favorite adoptee forum earlier and because I'm tired and cranky I'm just cutting and pasting.  So those of my friends who have already read this whiny-ness, feel free to jet.

My daughter gave me a cold...a horrible, rotten no good "head feels like it's stuffed with cotton and rocks" cold. And, there's an elephant sitting on my chest.


I made it through work up until 3pm and then asked my manager if I could leave early, go home and sleep. (Didn't fucking help that my wonderful *ahem* boyfriend had used all the daytime cold medicine and DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME).

Left work and all was well until I was a half hour up the highway. Was in the fast lane but the cars were all crawling because of road construction. The truck in front of me braked and then stopped. I braked and then stopped. The jeep behind me? Didn't stop. At.All.

My jeep's okay...relatively. The back door won't open, the bumper's possibly hanging on by a bolt and is scratched and ripped in a few places. What burns my ass too is that my friend had put on the tire cover I'd found at a flea market right before I left work today and now IT'S ripped too with pieces of glass in it.

I know it could have been a lot worse...and looking at the jeep that plowed into me, I am VERY lucky...but I just feel so lousy and tired and didn't need this today.

I should have just stayed at work and suffered.

*Updated (Again)* A Plea for Help

One of my former managers needs your thoughts and prayers today…about a month ago, she found out she had an aggressive form of lung cancer (never smoked a day in her life) and that it had spread to her lymph nodes. A few days ago she went in for surgery to remove the tumor from one of her lungs and they ended up having to remove it. She now has pneumonia and was placed on life support. Everyone is just devastated by the news and at this point, our hope is that if the end is coming, that it comes quickly.

Could you all just take a minute and offer her up in your prayers and thoughts? Thank you my bloggity friends..

Linda..I am praying for you.

*Update*  Just found out that they had to insert a catheter into one side of Linda's heart because it wasn't functioning properly.  Her liver is not working well and neither are her kidneys.  They're starting dialysis as well.

*Updated (Again)*  Linda passed away yesterday (May 12th) at the age of 50.  She was a vibrant, compassionate, beautiful person and will be missed by all who knew her.  Thank you all for your kind prayers and thoughts.

Thank Goddess It's Friday

I've been MIA from my blog for a few days...the below picture shows why.  My poor boy has a virus and has been battling a fever (was 104 degrees yesterday..!!!) and has needed all of the snuggling and back rubbing that Mummy could offer. 

Now I'm back and am struggling about whether to talk about my therapy session this week.  It was difficult.  To say the least.  And it was very frustrating.  You see, I got to "meet" the part of me that is trying to keep me safe from the trauma...in my mind's eye anyway.  I really feel like I want to talk about 'her' but every time I try and put the words down, something is holding me back. 

Hmmm...maybe tomorrow. 

I'm tired...and 'she's' tired.  After all, she's been keeping me safe for 35 years...she deserves to be a little tired.