Falling On Deaf Ears

I really need to avoid my Google Reader for awhile.  How many times have you heard me say that?  Lots, I'm sure..lol..and I'm sorry, but I'm repeating myself again.  I found this little bloggy nugget of "goodness" yesterday and it touched off a commentpalooza.  Read the blog and the comments and then come back.  Go ahead, I'll still be here...

::humming the Jeopardy theme song::

Back?  So, I'm curious to hear your thoughts.  I'm throwing it out there.  Am I off base for being offended by the talk of trivializing first parents?  Am I off base for being offended to hear that adoption doesn't cause loss?  I have to be honest, towards the end, I WAS practically begging for them to listen to the voices of the adoptees, but I know in my heart of hearts, that that is a pipe dream. 

But there was a moment when I was sitting there, reading the comments of my fellow adoptees, and commenters that I didn't even know, that I felt surrounded by warmth.  They are the ones who "get it".  And many of the adoptive parents that read this blog "get it".  I'm not a hater.  I may not agree with everyone all the time, but I'm not a hater.  And to read the comments on that blog saying that the potential adoptive parents should simply ignore the negative stories and anecdotes and comments just really hurt me to my core.

I retweeted some of the tweets that Noel, her husband, and one of their friends posted.  Most memorable was this, posted by one of their minister friends:

"Don't know why people think they have to be heard.."

That one phrase really struck a huge nerve with me.  For my entire life, I've been stifled.  Been told that my opinions don't matter...been told to keep my mouth shut and just take whatever is thrown my way.  Well no more.  Fuck that.  I'm tired of being silenced.  You don't have to agree with me..but you should have the common decency to listen.

The blog author's husband ridiculed me for sharing anecdotal stories in response to his questions...but then when those that agreed with them shared stories, it was all good.

Peggy did nail it on the head though with the following quote:

"Sometimes the road to someone else's Hell is paved by your good intentions..." 

So true.