Humbled

I had no idea how people would take my last post.  I had the full gamut of comments and emails thrown my way though.  Whether it was understanding, sorrow, confusion or an offer to take over the Blog of Shame award segment (love you Linda)...it all was taken under advisement.

The truth of the matter is...I WANT to change PAP's/AP's minds.  I WANT to be the catalyst for them to suddenly "understand" why I say what I say and believe what I believe about adoption.  I cannot promise that I won't continue to swear or use language that may be harsh at times...that would be asking too much of me and would change my personality...but perhaps I can tone things down a smidge. ;)  Don't worry all...I'm not getting soft in my old age...just a little more cautious.

Updated:  For the short term, I've archived the old Blog of Shame posts here.  You'll need a password so email me and I'll pass it on to you. 

Blogs of Shame Posts

You'll notice that the blog posts I'd written with the label "Blog of Shame" are gone.  Or maybe you won't notice..lol..but I'm hoping you do.  I believe that one of award winners has been in contact with a lawyer and that that law office has been reading the posts.  For what reason?  No clue.  But I've chosen to take those posts and move them to a safe spot that only I have access to.  Will the posts still show up on Google cache?  Yes...but since they've been deleted, at least soon they won't be on the front page..lol.

I've decided to figure out a better way to get my message out there...still a work in progress.  I've been thinking lately that if I want to be taken seriously as an adult adoptee, then perhaps "shaming" the PAP's and AP's isn't the best way to go about it.

I hope you all can support me in this decision...and I'm open to suggestions on how to go about revamping the posts.

Do You Believe Us Now?

Trafficking Jam

This, That and The Other Thing

Life’s been quiet the past few weeks.  The third anniversary of my first contact with my natural mom has come and gone.  She’s still in Delaware with my grandfather but might (fingers, toes, arms, legs and eyes are crossed for luck) come home for a week soon.  Haven’t been talking much with my natural dad though.  He and his wife were busy taking care of her grandson for awhile and then were going on vacation.  Still feeling a little hurt that he didn’t remember my birthday but that’s just how it goes I guess. 

Spent the weekend with my friend from work and her twin daughters, along with my two cherubs.  Went to the pond near her house on Saturday…managed to avoid getting sunburned even though we ran out of sunblock after the four kids and Robin were doused in it.  I was skeered there for a little bit because normally I can only be out in the sun for ten minutes before I look like a lobster..lol. 

On a brighter note, it’s been five months since I’ve received any child support from Chase’s father…until last week when I finally got something.  Although, if you take the $87.20 that was deposited and divide that by 5 months (roughly 20 weeks), that works out to be $4.36 a week.  Whatever.  No, really…whatever.  I don’t bother getting upset about it anymore.  It’s up to the Department of Revenue to deal with now.  And from the correspondence I’ve been having with the DOR lately, things are catching up to my ex. ::shrug::  Again, whatever.  If I get money for Chase, great.  If not, it’s fine.  I have tons of other stuff to worry about..like the fact I need more coffee..lol.  I just show up for the drop offs/pick ups with a smile on my face and know that being civil to him and to his wife is the best gift I can give Chase. I do have to admit that I was snippy in an email thread my ex and I had the other day.  See, he’s a SAHD to his two other daughters, younger than Chase, and was saying that he had gone on a field trip with the kindergarten to the fire department and how great it was to be able to see things like that through a child’s eyes.  Now, I agree…but was feeling a bit snarky at that particular moment and retorted, “Sadly, working full time Monday through Friday doesn’t give me time to go on field trips with the kids…nice you got to go though.”  Sigh.  Not my finest moment but I was irritated..lol.  (This was NOT a jab at any SAHParents in my viewing audience…but if you have children you need to be supporting, sitting at home and not providing is just plain wrong).

Ugh..rant over.

Storm The Castle

Yesterday, after I got home from work dark storm clouds rolled into town. They danced angrily in the sky, swirling and breathing strong winds through the air. You all know the story of my issues with thunderstorms and why they bother me so much...but strangely, I didn't panic like I usually do.

Instead, I went for a drive and drove up to an apple orchard, high on a hill.

I didn't freak out people...I didn't freak out.