I'm tired today. Tired of having to "explain" loss to those who don't get it....or choose to ignore it. What isn't understood is that it doesn't matter whether the child grows up in a wonderfully loving and supportive household...there will still be loss. You can buy the child a million ponies for the backyard and throw all the circus birthday parties you want..there will still be loss.
Adoptive parents can attend every school function, every ballet class, every piano recital, every baseball/soccer/basketball/hockey/golf/track/tennis....well you get the idea...and there will STILL be loss. Yes, every child will go through an identity crisis...being a teenager SUCKS no matter how you slice it..but if you're not prepared, you will miss that your child's angst may be MORE that just teenage rage.
What amused me the most about reading the blog I alluded to last night was that the AP was very proud of having real-live-adoptee-blogs (and isn't that exciting??) on her blogroll. ::clap clap clap:: There were three. Three blogs that were probably (and yes, I'm making a sweeping assumption here, but at least I have the cajones to admit that) added just because they were the first ones she found when she googled searched.
Want advice?? Start planning for the future...now. I've compiled a list of links that she, and other APs may find helpful.
Direct message to Kelli: If you've read from any of the above links before, then ::clap clap clap:: (here's a cookie)...I hope that you have memorized the signs of adoptee loss because one day you'll need to recognize them in the Vietnamese child you have claimed so desperately as your own.