Enough is Enough

I have a crap ton of work that I need to be doing right now…and zero motivation to be doing any of it. I'm getting a cold, sitting at my desk with a fever and just want to cry.


I'm super emotional…for a variety of reasons. Not the least of which is the fact that (Warning: If there are any guys in my reading audience, the following will probably constitute as TMI) I just got my period after four months of nothing. Sigh. I guess I'm glad that it finally showed up, but my hormones and emotions have been going haywire lately and it's just all very overwhelming.

My darling daughter decided Saturday that instead of cleaning her room before going to see Cirque de Soleil with my boyfriend's dad, stepmom and stepniece that she'd take a pen and carve random designs into the top of her antique dresser. Found it last night when we were pulling our Christmas stuff out of the attic. Just am at a loss as to how to handle her. She's a great kid, don't get me wrong, but that just threw me right the hell over the edge.

I'm at the point that I feel like boxing up everything in her room except for her clothes and putting them away until she can learn how to respect what she has, and respect us.
Anyone have any suggestions?

My a-sister called me the other day asking what to get the kids for Christmas and mentioned that our mom had called her, worried about me. Amom knows that I'm in therapy, but not why… I told her that I was okay…that I was just working through some stuff..but I think that I might try and get up the courage to talk to my sister about what's been going on.  Definitely not before Christmas though. We just put up the tree and the other decorations and I'm trying desperately to get into the holiday spirit and talking about the abuse and everything else would just send my emotions plummeting.

In Absentia

I've been absent from this blog for a few days...and I've been missing it. But life as I know it has changed and I've had to figure out my next steps. And it's scary.

I'll take 'Jobs That Are Being Shipped Overseas' for a thousand Alex...

What is MINE?

Yup. I'm a contractor...hired with 10 other people to call up companies and collect on their bills that are less than $250K. The actual collectors that work for the company I'm contracted for are safe. They get to keep their jobs. And we, the contractors, get the pleasure of training our offshore counterparts when they arrive in January. Then, once they are trained, we'll be 'released'.

I'm in a better position than some on the team though. I've actually worked hard to get to the top and to get noticed by the management. Two weeks ago I was handpicked to move over to the actual collectors side to cover for someone who's out on maternity leave. And as the Head Honcho told me when he called me into his office the morning after the announcement was made, historically the ones that have been asked to fill in on that side have been hired. So, I may live to call another customer and tell them to pay their bill.

Everyone say a silent prayer for me, please?