Wednesday, September 12, 2012


Another year has gone by.  Yesterday we marked the 11th anniversary of 9/11.  Today marks the anniversary of my adoptive father's death.

My adoptive mother texted me this morning..

"Thinking of you, Mom"

I wrote back that I was thinking of her too but in actuality, I was trying to not think about anything having to do with my father. 

When I used to go to the cemetery with my mother, sister and our families every September to plant flowers and mourn the loss of the man who abused me for so many years, I always saw a Monarch butterfly flitting around the area surrounding his gravestone.  I never thought much of it until a few years ago.

At our old work location, we'd go outside on our breaks and sit on the benches..chatting and enjoying the nice weather during the fall.  Every September a Monarch butterfly would appear, floating and drifting on the breeze.  It unnerved me...but I'd forget about it for another year.

We moved to a new building a few years ago and the butterfly didn't appear. 

Until today.  It was a beautiful day, crisp and clear..and we went outside for a walk. 

Suddenly, something appeared in the corner of my vision.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

An Open Letter To "POWERDAD"


First of all, for someone who is in college, you have really bad spelling and grammar.

I had to stop myself from lunging at the screen with the repeated misuse of “they’re” and “your”, not to mention the spelling errors.  But I digress.

You rant and rave about women you’ve come across on posts and forums who are asked to tell “her story”.

That’s right, it’s “her story”, not YOUR story. 

From the sounds of it, your adopted childrens’ mother was not in a good place when they were taken from her.  And I don’t think you will find many people out there (adoptees/natural mothers) who would say, “Who cares if she was a drug addict and neglected the kids, they should stay with her!”.  If that’s what you think, then you clearly aren’t paying attention.

Who are you to say, however, that the stories you read on the blogs/forums WEREN’T the truth for those women that you so nonchalantly label as “Pathetic”?  You think that investigating into the stories you have read would all reach the same conclusion of the women being “complete fuck ups”.  That's just sad.  We all live our truths.  We all have to bear the burden of what life has offered us individually.  

The probable reason for you being upset that your “dissenting opinion” wasn’t allowed through was because you may have come off as disrespectful and not thinking about the fact that you were writing about real people. 

Real mothers who have real stories.

Have a little compassion.

An adoptee who has HER own story as well