Friday, January 28, 2011

Next Time I'm Hitting Delete Immediately

My amother sends me emails usually every day at work. Mostly forwarded emails…chain emails…prayer emails…blah blah blah.

Normally I skim them and hit delete. Today, I had a second and was reading the one she just sent. I wish I hadn’t.

The email was about this contest that was held to find the most caring child.  The child below didn't win, by the way.
Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were
discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture
had a different hair color than the other members.. One of her
students suggested that he was adopted.
A little girl said, 'I know all about
Adoption, I was adopted..'

'What does it mean to be adopted?', asked
another child.

'It means', said the girl, 'that you grew
in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!'


  1. Your amom sent you this????? Was this a not so subtle message to you that you need to be more...whatever it is she wants you to be?

    Oh man, I am so sorry.

  2. I am sorry to Chrisitina... OUCH!


  3. I mean, the bit about the growing in the mommy's heart crap was just one part of the email, mixed in with other stories of other kids, but yes, I think that is WAS a not-so-subtle hint that I need remember who the real mother is.

    Fuck that noise.

  4. How much contact do you have with her? Maybe you could change your email so she doesn't have the address?

  5. I have plenty of contact with her considering she lives 10 minutes from our house and she sent it to my work email.

    Sigh. I just go into avoidance mode and refuse to talk about it with her. As Steven says, "She definitely knows how to push your buttons".

  6. I've been trying to understand the AP need to prove they're the real-only-top-best parents, and haven't really come up with any kind of reasons that aren't based in pure emotion. I wish that APs who believe this, and consequently send their kids subtle and not-so-subtle messages like the one in this email, could step away from their feelings and try to understand how complex adoption is for their kids.

  7. Ditto what Margie said. I have to admit...there was a day, many years ago, before my children were in front of me, that I thought these little adoption sayings were sweet. The reality of my children standing before me and their loss, trauma and complexity surrounding adoption, woke me up right quick. I am so frustrated when I hear that many adoptive parents didn't receive the wake up call yet and are continuing to hurt their children along the way.


Share your words of wisdom with the rest of the class. :)