Saturday, January 15, 2011

30 Days of Truth ~ Day Three

Hmmm...

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

When I was a teenager, I wrote in a journal.  Stupid stuff usually, nothing too deep because thinking about the deep stuff would have surely driven me crazy.  But I remember a lot of times, just filling up the pages with the words, "I hate myself".  Over and over and over.  I'd look at myself in the mirror and just cry, wondering why I wasn't pretty...wondering why I wasn't good enough for any of the kids in school to be my friend.  Page after page I'd write those words and then I'd read them back outloud.  Sobbing and alone, I built a wall up around myself, locking my scarred soul away like a captive in a dungeon. 

I want to forgive myself for that hate.  I want to fill up a journal with the words, "I love myself".

Hopefully someday that will happen.

I'm not there yet.

3 comments:

  1. I hope that happens someday SOON Christina!

    This makes me remember the first time I heard "One of These Days" by Tim McGraw. I almost couldn't breathe what I heard the last verse of the song.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEkHycaL5n8

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  2. What a fantastic idea! I need an "I love you" journal.

    I know what matters is that we love ourselves, but I do love you.

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  3. I can truly relate to this post. I send you hugs.

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