Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
I don't know whether this person's spouse is reading my blog, so I'm going to keep this as brief as possible. (If she is, I hope she understands why I am writing about the situation on this post...strictly in the name of healing).
I've done things I'm not proud of in my life. And one of those things was sleeping with my son's father on the first date.
I've forgiven myself for that. It happened, we were together through my pregnancy and then we broke up (I'm grateful for that because things got VERY messy at the end) when Chase was 3 months old.
What I have to forgive my ex for is his disrespect to me as a person, and as the mother of his son.
He posted a Myspace profile when things were particularly rough between us after he returned from a 3 year fathering hiatus with a new wife and daughter in tow...I was angry at his nonchalent attitude towards our son and he was angry because he believed I had kept him from Chase.
It was bad enough that the url for the page ended in "fuckucw"...but the profile picture he posted made my blood boil.
After things had gotten better and more civil between us, he removed the picture and deleted most of the page's content..but the hurt remains..even all these years later. I know, I know...just one more thing I should just "get over". And I'm trying. But some days the shame just washes over me like a tsunami.