Tuesday, August 9, 2011


I had no idea how people would take my last post.  I had the full gamut of comments and emails thrown my way though.  Whether it was understanding, sorrow, confusion or an offer to take over the Blog of Shame award segment (love you Linda)...it all was taken under advisement.

The truth of the matter is...I WANT to change PAP's/AP's minds.  I WANT to be the catalyst for them to suddenly "understand" why I say what I say and believe what I believe about adoption.  I cannot promise that I won't continue to swear or use language that may be harsh at times...that would be asking too much of me and would change my personality...but perhaps I can tone things down a smidge. ;)  Don't worry all...I'm not getting soft in my old age...just a little more cautious.

Updated:  For the short term, I've archived the old Blog of Shame posts here.  You'll need a password so email me and I'll pass it on to you. 


  1. As we learn new things we develop new ways to reach others which may be more effective.You haven't gone soft just got older!

  2. I love you too. And I received 3 emails from your readers to beg you to continue. One who had a personal and direct connection to one of your blog of shame recipients, and backed you and the people who left comments.

    Some people should never be allowed to adopt.

    If paps or adopters do not want to hear/read the opinions of adult adoptees who live this experience, they should get a dog. Because there is a chance their adoptling may just feel the way we do.

    Keep up the good work. OUR EXPERIENCES AS ADOPTEES ARE REAL, ARE VALID, AND THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION. Adoption is supposed to be about children- NOT about the wants of an adopter. They need to know that adoption isn't for the weary. Not everyone is meant to be a parent, and not everyone can parent a strangers child.

  3. As an adoptive parent I think it is great that you are continuing to shed light on things that AP's or PAPs may not have realized that they are doing that are so wrong. Probably toning down the language a little (smile) will feel less like a personal attack and maybe they will absorb more (fingers crossed for that!)

  4. Echoing Linda here. If adoptive parents want what's best for their children, they'll read and learn from those adults their children are destined to become. Those who choose to ignore us will suffer the consequences along with their children. It's a no-brainer.

  5. The blog of shame definitely made me stop and think and helped me start down a path of learning I may not have gone down. While I didn't agree with the harshness of it and believe most people would be turned away from the POV you are trying to share if it was done in that manner - I do get what you were trying to accomplish.

    I was able to link up with a few adult adoptee's who have been kindly walking me through some learning curves - and I appreciate that.


  6. Wow, lots going on over here!

    I think that your desire to share your side of the adoption story is noble.

    Running into a few of you "vocal adoptees" out in the blogosphere really changed my perspective about a lot of things, and I hope that you have success reaching out to those who are as clueless as I was.

    As infuriating as ignorance is, it's just that. Ignorance. But I can only imagine how hard it is to see such slow progress and such parent-centered adoption practices when you have such a powerful desire to see these things change.

    You are great. I wish you all the strength and peace in the world.


Share your words of wisdom with the rest of the class. :)