Tuesday, August 31, 2010

No Unicorns Allowed...Meanies Unite!

Meanies Pictures, Images and Photos

Hi..my name is Christina.

(altogether now) Hi Christina!

I'm probably one of those meanies that you are afraid of. And before you go jumping the gun and automatically assuming (you know what happens when you "assume" right?) that I'm a birthmother-who-was-forced-to-give-up-her-baby-but-things-are-different-now-don't-you-know...I'm not.

I'm an adoptee.

I speak for myself...I have my own opinions...and sometimes my comments get deleted off of blogs because my voice doesn't count. ::shrug:: 

Oh, here's the comment that wasn't allowed on this post that was discussing using the term "birthmother", by the way:

@David and Amy...I'm sure that my adoptive parents said that their love for me was perfect as well. And I suppose that in their eyes, it was a perfect love. But you're right, you DON'T know my situation...and let me tell you, my childhood was hell. Again though, even if my childhood had been full of and unicorns and ponies and puppies, I STILL would have rathered to have had my natural mother and my natural family in my life. That's just my personal experience..and I'm not trying to speak for anyone else. 

A woman DOESN'T stop being a mother after they give up their child. They carried that baby for nine months, nurtured the baby with food and comfort and love. And to say that doesn't make someone a mother sounds very righteous and spoken like a true martyr, in my opinion. I should know..my adoptive mother would have said the SAME EXACT THING. You say you spent 8 1/2 years trying to figure out what a mother is...I've spent 36 years of my ENTIRE LIFE trying to figure out the SAME THING..and I am so glad that I can say that, for myself, my natural mother has ALWAYS been a mother to me, even though we were separated for 34 of those years.

(By the way, I think it's rude when people use caps lock when commenting on someone's post, but that's just me.)

@Sterling..Thank you for your email that you sent me, I'm in the process of responding. I have to admit that I wasn't expecting it, but I appreciate you taking the time to write me to explain your thinking.

The blog author, after I told her that I thought it was distasteful that she allowed flippant humor about adoption through, but deleted my comments, told me that she'd emailed my comments to the people I was addressing in the above paragraphs. She then asked me if I was referring to Ashley's comment on her blog being flippant and I said:

You don't need to delete it...but yes, I was referring to Ashley's comment.

I guess I'm just used to having a free forum on my blog where discussions can be had without comments being deleted. I need to remember that not everyone feels the same.

By the way everyone, this was the part of Ashley's comment that I specifically took offense to...

"Seriously, how lucky am I to have someone loving my daughter so much??? Poor people who haven't adopted. I've got twice as much mommy love going toward my daughter. Neiner neiner neiner...".

If it's mean of me to call someone out for being rude (not to mention the fact that she spelled "Neener Neener Neener" incorrectly), then I'm proud to wear that title. I'll add it to the list.

And if someday I get banned from someone's clubhouse for speaking my mind...then pass the cold risotto because by God, I'll eat all of it.


  1. I love you girl!

    I read that blog and it made me feel ILL... with all he entitlement oozing and the absolute disregard for anyone but her own views. Despitre what she says in her follow up blog post.

    "Meanies" what the hell is that about? Doesn't Jill see SHE is a "Meanie" herself? Because she chooses to be blind to others and their views and pits people against each other.

    I'm so sorry they were so dismissive of you Christina. With people like this, they are lost and I cannot be bothered with the likes of them these days. They make me ill... and they are contributing to the problems of adoption so they really are a waste of space (online space).

  2. Gosh you picked a fave there! See my last post!

  3. You are a mean person. No wonder you're so depressed. You take delight in hurting others with your tacky "blog of shame". You are the queen of shame and I feel gross even coming here. Your friends are just as bad, encouraging your disgusting behavior.

    Seriously, you need to grow up and find a better hobby than harassing others. What a negative and sad life you lead. Yuck.

  4. Please tell me Daphne's not for real. You're being sarcastic, right, Daphne?

    Please say yes ...

  5. Hi Daphne,

    Thanks so much for gracing my gross blog with your presence.

    Let me assure you that reading blogs written by rainbow farting unicorns does not make me negative nor does it make me depressed. My adoption and the loss associated with it did that very nicely. Thanks for your obvious concern for my well being though..it's very touching.


  6. Daphne- really? I hope you are being sarcastic

  7. Sadly Margie and Renee, I don't think she's being sarcastic. It must just be foggy in her world..and that's okay. I'm not mad at, or even irritated with, Daphne. I pity her.

    Hugs to you all ♥

  8. I'd personally pity anyone who knows you. You're the one with nothing better to do with your time than seek out and pick on other people and their blogs. Seriously, get a hobby. It's not like these people are actively seeking out and bothering you. Your blog just wreaks of loving to play the victim. I also find it ironic that you talk about being fiercely protecting your adoptive mom, and you have an entire blog set up to attack adoptive parents. Your poor mom. Well, I'll leave you to your sick little world. You need a lot of help. 0_o

  9. o.O indeed. Where the HELL on my blog does it say anything about being fiercely protective of my adoptive mother? Clearly you have not read much of my blog otherwise you'd realize that she's not "my poor mom".

    This is what it says under my profile picture..

    "I am fiercely protective of my adoptee and natural mom friends, but welcome the chance to state my feelings and hear yours."

    What that means, and I'll try to use small words to make it easier for you to understand, is that I'm protective of my adoptee friends and my natural mom friends..i.e. adoptees and natural moms who are my friends. NOT my adoptive mother. She doesn't read this blog nor would she even comprehend that I suffered loss due to being adopted.

  10. Well, that explains-although it doesn't excuse, your behavior. Honestly, your blog was too yucky for me to take the time to delve deep. You should work on your message, because right now you're just coming off as some crazy ringleader who unleashes other crazy people on blogs that weren't bothering you. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. I personally wouldn't be able to wake up with myself if I acted that way.

    Looks like the abused has become the abusee. What a cycle.

  11. So Daphne, my question to you is this...what exactly are you trying to accomplish by posting on MY blog? See, when I comment on others' blogs I'm trying to explain why I feel the way I do. When I post my Blog of Shame posts, I'm highlighting blogs that are offensive in my eyes, and often in the eyes of my adoptee, adoptive mothers and natural mothers readers/friends.

    I never commented on Jill's blog...never...but she's lumping everyone who disagrees with her as "meanies"..and, last time I checked, it's a free country and I can comment/blog about any post I want to..just as you have that right as well.

    I never told anyone to comment on any of the blogs I've commented on or posted Blog of Shames about..so saying that I'm a "crazy ringleader who unleashes other crazy people on blogs" is false.

  12. This qualifies as butting in, but I'm doing it anyway.

    Daphne says "... you have an entire blog set up to attack adoptive parents."

    I'm an adoptive parent with two kids, both from Korea and now grown.

    Christina pulls no punches on this blog, nor in her comments on others, but in no way shape or form could one characterize what she says as "abuse," "ringleading" or attacks on adoptive parents. She shares an experience that is valid and calls out what she sees as inappropriate, arrogant or entitled attitudes toward adoption.

    Please consider that the offense you take at Christina's "Blogs of Shame" is the same offense many adoptees, first parents and adoptive parents take from blogs that promote adoption and dismiss birth connections in the process.

  13. Hi Christina, just saw the comments from Daphne. I think she is incredibly young based on the immaturity, lack of insight and basic vocabulary she uses in her comments. Anyone who cannot try to see past the end of their own nose and look beyond the society accepted view of anything is a person who lives a boxed life with a very limited view.

    Daphne, I sincerely feel sad for you, that you need to visit a blog to direct nasty comments. I have no idea what your story is or what your purpose is in visiting but I do feel you need to take a deep breath before you step in here again.

    Christina is doing a fabulous job of showing up those who feel entitled to another person's family. Seriously, if you actually read the blogs she gives the awards to maybe you would understand. THEY are the kind of people I wouldn't want to wake up being. Christina is not crazy or nasty, she is a beautiful person but you wouldn't know that because you only came here to judge. You have literally projectiled across someone's blog labelling, accusing and calling them names without having the full picture. It is you who should be ashamed.

    @Third Mom: You rock!

  14. Myst and Third Mom..thank you for your continued support. You both come from different sides of the Triad from me, but I've never felt like you didn't understand where I was coming from.

    I appreciate you..and all of my readers (even those that disagree with me) for keeping me real.

    Love you.

  15. Daphne totally sucks. May the spit of 1,000 camels land in her eye. You know, if my dog had a face like Daphne's I'd shave it's a$$ and train it to walk backwards.

    Down with Daphne! BOO!!! HISS!!!!

  16. Daphne is just sad and bitter because her lady parts are broken.

    Daphne, maybe if you hadn't spent your prime years blowing Fred,Shaggy, Scooby and the gang, you'd have some eggs left to get you a bayyyybeee.
    Poor Daphne.

  17. Hey Christina.
    Love the new look of your blog. I have been totally awol of the blog world all summer because of my sons cancer, but it's getting easier and I am beginning to rejoin the world. I feel like I can always check in with you to see whats REALLY been going on out there. You are one of the only ones who speaks the truth. Thank you for your candor.
    Anyway...I read the blog link on this post about the birthmother discussion and saw the couples with the adoption buttons on the side bar. First of all, let me say "Eww" and secondly and seriously....why do you think there are so many couples out there trying to adopt? What is going on with fertility? And do you think the demand for more adoptable babies is putting pressure on more women to place their babies? It seems like a train racing out of control..more and more couples fighting and paying the highest bid...more girls being coerced instead of supported.

    by the way....I totally agree with what Third Mom said. "Please consider that the offense you take at Christina's "Blogs of Shame" is the same offense many adoptees, first parents and adoptive parents take from blogs that promote adoption and dismiss birth connections in the process." This is exactly why I love reading your blog.


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