I was looking through some old pictures of myself the other day. Not the middle school or high school ones in which I was wearing BCG (like these for example) but the photos from when I was little. Way before abuse entered my world..or at least, way before I could remember the abuse.
I noticed that in a lot of them, think 99.99% of the time, I was frowning. No smile..nothing. In the other .01% I had the biggest, cheesiest grin..stupid looking really. I have a feeling those were the pictures in which my mother was behind the camera...probably getting seriously irritated with the child who refused to smile.
"Smile dammit...what the hell is the matter with you?? Your sister smiles in ALL her pictures...why aren't you?!"
Oh, I don't know...maybe because I didn't have much to be happy about.
Here's a couple of examples:
And going back even further in my childhood...we get..