Just one hour of silence. I'm so tired and every little sound is ticking me off. Including the sound of my boyfriend's spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl of cereal he's having before bed. I just had to get up and walk out of the room before I exploded.
When I came back after he was done, he asked me what was up and I pulled out the "It's not you..it's me" card and explained about the sound irritating me. Rationally, the sound shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did..just like the sound of him eating popcorn earlier shouldn't have irritated me. But it did. Every sound just seems amplified by one million percent and I just want it to stop.
Or I want to just scream from the sheer stupidity of it all.
Doesn't help that I have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn to drop my son off with my ex either. I'm sleeping horribly...worse than usual...and I know that's just because of everything going on, but it's certainly not helping my mood. It's probably good that the kids are both going to be gone for the holiday weekend..I need an emotional break.
I feel like my skin is crawling..constantly. I don't remember this happening when I was in therapy before. This is different than how I'd feel back then. I'd cry on the ride home and then be okay the next day. Maybe it's because it was only session #1..but I feel like crud today. Desperately angry and sad.