My birthday is in 29 days. I'll be 29 for the *ahem* seventh time. When I was a child, birthdays always brought sadness. Oh, I'd play the game…I'd laugh and smile when everyone sang "Happy Birthday", when really, I just wanted to run away, hating to be the center of attention. I remember every year after the party had ended, laying on my bed, looking out at the moon, wondering if "she" was thinking of me. Did she remember being pregnant with me and then leaving me at the hospital?
I got my answer last year. Here is the email that I received while sitting at work…
and yes I remember what day it is. :)
For 35 years I have wished many heartfelt wishes. I've wondered if you were excited, what your cake looked like, even if you were bummed when it fell on a school day, Personally, I hated the fact that I usually got summer clothes for mine. LOL ANYWAY......I didn't want to just be a "comment" on your Facebook when I finally get to say to you.....not telepathically as I have for years.....Happy Birthday Sweetheart. You have been loved and thought of for every day of your 35 years. I have to admit that all of my worrying for years was for naught....you are an amazing woman. A great mom, sister, friend, and especially...daughter. I won't claim credit for any of that...but to be a part of your life today makes me happy and full beyond belief.
so...Have a great day, enjoy every second, and know that you are very loved and always have been.
this is where I sing to you in my head, usually...but today I'll sing loud.
I love you.
I felt more loved in the immediate moments after reading that message than I ever felt before. It was amazing, and I cried on and off all day over it. (As did my friends and coworkers who were allowed to read it). I carry that feeling with me every day now. When I'm sad, or angry, or confused, I read that email and am lifted up.