The stress of the past few days has finally caught up with me. I am in the beginning stages of a horrible head cold. Never fails that if I’m dealing with a lot, I get sick.
It started Friday with my blowout with K, my ex’s wife. Admittedly, not my finest moment.
Saturday was actually wonderful…went out with Steven for our 8th anniversary to a really nice restaurant. But that was kind of stressful too because even though I told myself I was being an idiot, I had hoped that it would have been “THE” night for a proposal. No go. But it was amazing to reconnect as a couple and the food was yumtastic. I’ve had people tell me that maybe I need to propose to him…but that’s just not how I envision things to go. And so, I wait. Usually patiently, but sometimes, not so much.
Sunday was laid back…spent a couple hours with Maddie at my mom’s pool then watched a movie with Steven.
Yesterday, I picked up Chase from K again and aside from me asking her how things went with a response of “Fine” and a side of her infamous stink eye on the side, I was outta there. Got home and was reading FBook and almost threw up. One of my good friends from Kindergarten through high school died in a car accident while on vacation in Germany. He was the first friend from school to die and I’m not quite sure how to handle it.
Makes your own mortality come zooming to the forefront of your mind.
I immediately called two other friends that I’ve stayed in contact with since school and had to deliver the news to them because I didn’t want them to see it on FBook first. What comforted me was telling them both at the end of the calls that I love them…and hearing them say it in return. We may not be invincible beings, but we are human beings and feeling love was something I really needed last night.
And so, to Brian, rest in peace my friend. You were an amazing person and I will never forget you. We spent many a car ride home from school and Peer Leadership meetings blasting the radio, singing along to Elton John and Neil Diamond at the top of our lungs. You were the person who coined my nickname “Steener”, said in the funny voice of our Physics teacher. You were the one who helped me pass Geometry in our sophmore year. You were the one who was unafraid to get up in front of the entire school and lip sync to Copacabana, dressed like Barry Manilow. You were brilliant in life..and you are brilliant in death.