Friday, September 23, 2011

The Cruelest Month

**This post may possibly be triggering re: infant death

Brian went first in early September.  A horrible car accident.  Gone in an instant.

And then just two days ago, a tiny baby...the grandson of my n-mom's best friend (who was there when C went into labor with me so many years ago) slipped from his parents' arms into the arms of the angels.

That one hit me hard because I remember going through my own miscarriage and understanding the deep pain that his mother and father are feeling.

And then I drove home through the driving rain, my phone rang.  It was my n-sister.  My grandfather passed away this afternoon, right before she called me.  I was driving on a highway so I couldn't pull over...had to just keep I could make it to the gas station parking lot and lose my shit.  And I did...lose my shit I mean. 

This is a picture of the family as we gathered in Delaware to celebrate his 80th birthday in 2009 that first weekend together...

My grandfather's first words to me when I met him were: "You're so pretty..." as he held my hands. 

I just saw him in May...and I knew it would be the last time I did.  I'm in a deep state of grieving right now and am not really sure what to do with myself.


  1. I know nothing I say could make anything feel any better. Just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for your loss.

  2. I am sorry for your loss. I'll definitely say a prayer for peace for you and your family durring this time.


  3. What a horrible month ~ I am so very sorry.

  4. So many losses - I'm so sorry, Christina.


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