Thursday, September 15, 2011

Four: Holy Crap, Really?

holy crap Pictures, Images and Photos

Background on the blog author: Married..has five children entrusted to her care.  Three biological, two adopted from Ethiopia.  Large following on her blog...most comments on her posts are full of  "Oh, you're so awesome..." and "Oh, I feel the EXACT same way..".  What's scary is that the commenters probably DO feel the exact same way as this author.  

I'm really, really glad all my kids are back in school.

There. I said it. The three children that I birthed and nursed and raised from scratch, and the two children we begged and cried and screeched for and fetched from Africa...all five of these kids are in school. And I am happy, so happy, happy, happy, happy, hip-hip-hooray Mary Poppins happy. 
Holy crap, really?  Fetched???  Like a dog fetches a bone or a ball???  I can't fault her for being glad her kids are in school...but honestly, I was annoyed with this post the minute I read that.


She then has pictures of the children she "fetched" from Ethiopia at the airport on the day they landed.

Underneath the photo of the girl, she captions it with this:

"I am crying with joy. R is ready to sprint like FloJo from the screaming white people."

Holy crap, really?  First of all, why do some adoptive parents do that?  Why subject a child who has just flown across the world, taken from all that they've ever known..everything a loud crowd of Rah Rah cheerleaders with signs and balloons at the airport?  Wouldn't it make more sense, if you're going to take a child from his/her country of origin, their home, and bring them to a strange place to keep things quiet so they have a chance to adjust?


Another picture, captioned:

"Insert audio of yelling and cheering. GAH, why was she so clingy?"

Holy crap, really?!?   Is she really that ignorant that she could even say that?


And then, surprise surprise, she laments about the end of the honeymoon period with the girl:

R gave us about 12 hours of honeymooning until her terror burst onto the scene. Sometimes her fear is so palpable, it literally takes my breath away. New places: terror. New faces: total insecurity. Transitions: help us, Jesus. She has asked us every single day since July 22nd if she is going back to Ethiopia. Every. Single. Day. When I discovered cashews to be a winning legume for her impossible palate, I told her:

"Yay! Good job! Cashews are good for you and will help you grow big and strong!"
"Big? Ah-Rrrremy? Big? Cashews?"
She pushes them away and starts crying.
Once again, I am bewildered and befuddled.
"No! No Ah-Rrremy grow big! Me big, then go back to Ethiopia! No! Dis is no!"
Holy crap, really?   My heart weeps for this poor little girl. 


And then we find out how she really feels:

 "Actually, I haven't had a shower in three days, I lost my temper with my uncontrollable daughter this morning and had to walk outside, I'm constantly cleaning up pee because uncircumcised tee-tee goes sideways onto walls, and sometimes when my two littles are asleep and we're downstairs with the original three kids who are so stable and healthy and easy, it creates a nostalgia so intense, I think I might perish. But enough about me. How are you?"
Holy crap, really?  Nice...refer to your biological kids as the "originals"...and excuse me if I don't feel bad that she's dealing with an uncontrollable daughter and not a stable, healthy and easy adoptee.  It's just so sad.



  1. OMG I want to puke! I remember how terrified my eldest was coming to us from another country. I ached then and now for the terror in his eyes (and mine, I'll be honest here; he is my first child and I was as scared as any first time parent). That woman is cruel and weird.

  2. Hey - I'm here by way of Melanie.

    I have never understood the notion that a noisy crowd of people is going to help a frightened, grieving child feel "at home".

    "Why was she so clingy?" Jeez. Talk about needing a mitt to catch that clue.

  3. The comments hold some other real gems.

    "We brought our son home from Korea 10 days ago, and I SO needed to be reminded why we are in this place. God bless your precious family."

    So I guess 10 days is enough time to realize that life is going to be miserable for a while? Ugh.

  4. Wow. My adoption agency was pretty clear that there should be NO big gathering at the airport when we returned. There should be no undue stress or stimuli added to an already stressful situation. I wonder what agency these people used....

    Additionally, I adopted an older child and both expected and accepted the difficulties we faced. It is two years later and I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Its all been worth it.

  5. As sickening as that post is, the comments are just as bad if not worse!! Over 300 people saying awesome, best post, blah, blah, blah.

    Those poor kids...

  6. Though I never really comment, can I just say, I love the gem about her parenting "damaged" children. I am so happy to know that I am damaged and her "original" kids as all "orignial" kids, are perfect. Let's keep the inferior adoptee stigma going. Yuck!

  7. This adoptoraptor makes me a special kind of sick. How in the hell did she pass a home study?

    Sadly, she is not the first adoptress I have seen blogging about their adoptive child's genitalia. Would they do that with their bio child? I HIGHLY doubt it. This borders on sexual abuse. My heart breaks for the children who are stuck living with this pig- both "original" and purchased.

  8. We not only did not have a welcoming committee at the airport - we forbade family and friends to even come by the house for the first month we were home. It was a very unpopular stand let me tell you but we were insistant. Little man had enough to process and we had already seen how too many new adults around made him uncomfortable. We joked about having to hire security for the door because everyone wanted to meet him but we made sure it was about his needs not their wants!!

  9. "sometimes when my two littles are asleep and we're downstairs with the original three kids who are so stable and healthy and easy, it creates a nostalgia so intense, I think I might perish."
    Oh, my gosh! I'm horrified! We all have ugly, uncomfortable thoughts from time to time, but Jeebus! You post that on the net for Who Knows Who to read?!?! I can't imagine... my head is spinning...


Share your words of wisdom with the rest of the class. :)