Just for shits and giggles, I was looking at the Myspace blog posts I'd written back in 2008..before I was found. I came across the following poem I'd written. It's a bit dark, just to warn you all.
What bugs the hell out of me is one day I'd write dark, depressing poems...and the next day I'd write posts about how much I missed my father. Even though it's clear that I subconsciously knew, way back then, what kind of monster he was.
She sits in her room alone, gazing at the stoic reflection that has become her mask. The sound of her own breathing startles her..she has forgotten she even exists in the real world.
Little girl lost, sinks slowly into the looking glass. She is outwardly pristine and perfect. Inside, she is beaten and bloodied by the Mad Hatter of her nightmares.
The cheshire cat sneers at her from his perch above the mirror, mocking her for believing that she could still be considered innocent.
Who is she kidding? Her purity is gone, she is tarnished by a childhood marred by others and their secret agendas. Shhh, don't tell. They won't believe you anyway.
She has been raped by a system of dogooders gone bad...their concern is only fleeting..their words of concern are whispered, they hope she can't hear them. They don't believe her anyway.
Little girl lost finally removes her mask and sees...nothing.
It is dark, but it is also a beautifully written poem, and very compelling. Maybe the poems you wrote about your father were really about the father you wanted and deserved to have, not the one you got stuck with?
ReplyDeleteThanks Lee...the odd thing is, I never wrote "nice" poems about my afather. Just talked about how much I missed him after his death. Makes me want to vomit now, to be honest, you know?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lee...dark, but beautifully written. I am always impressed with your writing!
ReplyDeleteWe all have those moments where you go back and read something from your past and want to vomit. Don't feel alone. Hugs!