Complimentary

The above quote is attributed to Judy Garland.

I've never done well with compliments.  Never.  I've always figured that people are just being nice when they tell me I'm pretty..or that I am intelligent...they can't mean it...not about me.  I'm the dumpy chick who never has the right clothes..or the right haircut.  I'm the girl who had the dogbone thrown at her in 7th grade...

Today though, I received a compliment that literally changed my perception of myself.  Not just any compliment though...one of the most touching, beautiful compliments I've ever heard.  I'm not quite sure if my friend Jen knows how much it meant to me...and I can't really express my emotions about it properly without sounding like a buffoon..but suffice to say, she had me crying at work.  I love you Jen.

She told me that she "loves my realness".  That I'm true to myself. 

Wow.  Me??

I've been called many things...but real is not one of them. 

I spent my entire life being something I wasn't...happy.  I pretended that things were wonderful growing up because that was what was expected of me.  I was a fraud. 

I'm learning how to speak up for myself.  I DO have feelings that I can share safely.  No one can take those emotions and feelings away from me.  I own them.  And rather than stifling them down..and locking them away in the treasure chest of my heart, I am opening Pandora's box and letting them be free.

It's still a work in progress..this journey to "realness".  But the fact that Jen sees that in me means that I'm doing something right.

So, thank you Jen...for helping me to believe in myself.