Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Get Out The Barf Bag

ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE
ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE

 ad nauseam*


Etymology: L, ad, to; Gk, nausia, seasickness

to the extent of inducing nausea and vomiting.


*definition taken from here.
 
Are you vomiting yet?  Feeling a bit sick to your stomach?  After all, I talk about being abused ALL the time, right?  I mean, why can't I just shut up about it?  Wouldn't everyone feel a lot better not having to hear about me being thrown across the room or molested by my adoptive father?  Shouldn't I be shitting rainbows instead???
 
Sorry, if that's why you're reading my blog, then you've definitely come to the wrong place.  I write about the abuse to help MYSELF.  And if I can help others along the way then FRIGGING GOOD FOR ME AND FOR THEM.
 
I've been quiet this past week, blog-wise anyway.  I'll admit it, after my last post, after I had some time to reflect on what it was that PP2.0 was saying, I was upset.  Maybe that's what she was trying to do...make me feel as bad as she did after she received the Blog of Shame award.  And then I got to thinking, should I stop that particular part of this blog?  Stop calling other bloggers out on their words, trying to get them to think about what they write before they say it? 
 
But along the same vein, do I stop writing about the abuse too?  Make this a different kind of blog than what it started out to be?  I know that I'm not as reflective or articulate as some of my blogging friends...but I never claimed to be.  I'd miss you all but I wouldn't even need a single follower to continue writing, no matter the forum.  Sigh.



What say all of you?  Because at this moment, I'm really at a loss. 

23 comments:

  1. You are more than what she tried to reduce you to. You are worth so much more than her actions.

    There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that you did, or could have ever done, to deserve such a cruel, disgusting response from her.

    You have survived so much. You are brave for speaking out about what happened to you and courageous for standing up and fighting for what you believe in.

    She has no right, and should have no power, to take that away from you!

    I hope, with all my heart, you will never let her, or anyone else who treats you in such a way, silence you!

    Plus, I would just really, REALLY, miss you if you were gone!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Please, please, please do not stop writing. We need to hear your truth. You speak not only for yourself but for other abuse victims. You speak for other adoptees that are not ready to speak yet. Do not allow this woman to bring you down. I continue coming to your blog because you are articulate. It is okay to be angry that you were abused by your adopted father. There is no excuse for what he did to you.

    I read her crazy posting. Just because you were abused does not mean you will abuse your children. It means that you are more protective of your children you look for signs and make sure they have the best life possible.

    She is trying to tear you down, to bully you. It takes very strong people to go against the tide to say that everything was not rainbows. She does not know you personally. Please do not allow her to intimidate you.

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  3. Keep going, don't let anyone shut you down.You called her out, when someone reacts as strongly, offensively and abusively it says more about them than about you.I note she is now playing the victim of the nasty adoptees.

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  4. Don't let her win. I love your blog of shame award because these people need to be called out. Keep writing - you have talent and you have helped me to deal with some of my issues. If you stop, she wins and I'd really hate that...

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  5. No way. For you to stop your "blog of shame" segment would be an injustice to adoptees...past,present and future.

    Even though you piss off the offenders, who cares? THEY are the guilty ones. Society needs to know these idiots exist and they are prime examples of what is so very wrong with adoption.

    Also, do not stop talking about the horrific abuse you lived through. Why would you allow someone to silence you? Haven't you been silenced enough?

    PP's comment about your abuse showed her true character- and she more than likely verbally abuses her adoptlings.

    Love you & everything you do.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I find it amusing that pp2 had the nerve to call you a bully and then spent days bullying you.
    She's a hypocrite and more than a little silly.
    Why would you give a person like that an ounce of your energy?
    She is so not worth it.
    And she deserved that blog of shame.

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  7. I know you all are right. I guess I just needed to hear it.

    I love you all.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey girl, you stop writing and I'm coming after you!!! JK, seriously though, don't let that witch get to you. She is a smug self righteous bully who feels she is entitled to knock anyone down who doesn't agree with her having what she wants. You can see that by the fact she needs to write about it in long drawn out posts.

    You exposed her true colours and yes, her backlash was feral however you did good in showing her up for the real person she is. Anything she might have said that possibly had a point (which I highly doubt) was dismissed the minute she attacked you like that.

    And I agree with what Bethgo said, she is the bully, not you.

    Oh and I LOVE your Blog of Shame awards because they highlight what is wrong in the industry by showing up those who brag about their misconceptions and even when they are enlightened chose to stay ignorant so they don't have to face the truth.

    They can get all upset and angry but it doesn't change that what you are saying is true.

    Love you and so do many, many others.

    ((((Christina)))))

    Myst xxx

    ReplyDelete
  9. You stop writing if and when you WANT to, not before, and not for anyone other than yourself.

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  10. No! Don't stop writing your truths and don't stop making adoptive parents reflect and look at the situation from *all* sides. I am sorry that blogger even made you doubt yourself. Besides I was just thinking today that you hadn't posted in a while, and then there you were, in my in box! :-)

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  11. The thing that people who did not grow up abused don't understand is that it fundamentally alters the way you look at life and at people.

    You (and by "you" I mean "abuse victims, several of us included") question things that others take for granted. And sometimes that's not useful because there's not an issue. But then there are the other times when you're the first person to spot abuse going on in another situation because you don't just automatically trust people. Like parents/AP's/church folk...

    We all need to reflect from time to time about how we're being received. And you've clearly done that. Maybe you want to adjust something about your blog. Maybe you don't at all. But NOT speaking the truth is not only dumb and unhelpful - IT'S NOT YOUR NATURE. And we all read you BECAUSE you're honest. So please do stay true to that (like everyone above was already saying).

    And you've just provided your B.o.S. winner the chance to do that very same self-reflection.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Don't change a thing! I love your blog just the way it is.

    You will never know how your words have HELPED people, many more than you have ever hurt. Actually, when I first began to read your blog, it did hurt me. As a mother who gave her son up for adoption, who was still in the fog, it was (and often still is) very painful for me to read the reality of your adoption. However, you have also been a big part of my own coming out of the fog. You have been a part of my healing.

    For my own selfish reasons, and for all the others who read and learn from your words, I hope you continue to have the courage to follow and write about your convictions.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I wasn't so sure of using the word "convictions", so I googled it. I found an article that is a great reply to this post!

    http://www.dherbs.com/articles/have-courage-to-follow-your-convictions-483.html

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  14. (((Christina))) DO NOT stop writing! Love you!

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  15. You are very articulate. Don't listen to PP 2.0. She's trying to be hurtful. I hate that she bullied you; I agree with BethGo that she's a huge hypocrite. If she's such a thinking reform-minded person, why don't I see her doing anything about changing the status quo except adopting more kids?

    If you and others didn't challenge people about their assumptions and self-congratulation, who would? Many adoptees (infants and young international adoptees, especially) are voiceless. They need advocates. You are a great advocate.

    Many of the self-adoring eejits you blog about *should* feel shame for the way they trash natural families. They need to examine why they feel they are entitled to other people's sympathy and children.

    I don't have the balls to award a Blog of Shame. I admire you for having a pair of steel.

    The whole blaming the victim for the abuse is for shit. It infuriates me.

    I love you so much. I am here for you, always. Please keep writing about whatever *you* want to write about. I will read all of it and support you. (((Christina)))

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  16. I have been reading you for a while now. I personally think you provide a service. I think you should keep blogging in whatever way you are comfortable, I am sure we will be here either way ((((HUGS)))).

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  17. I think you should continue blogging in whatever manner you feel is right for you.

    Yes, you are going to piss off some people, like PP2.0, but that is the way it goes. I think her comments to you were completely off-base-- especially her comments about the abuse you suffered.

    Talking about child abuse ad nauseum-- well of course-- child abuse should make everyone feel violently ill! Maybe if more people felt violently ill when they heard about it, there would be less of it in the world.

    I appreciate that your posts make AP and PAP think and reflect on things we may say or have heard other APs say.

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  18. Christina -

    Your voice and your story is very much needed.

    PP2.0 is one of the cruelest, most abusive people I have ever encountered in the adoption blogosphere. No, she moves beyond cruel to out right evil in her treatment of you.

    Do not let her (and the other abusers throughout your life) win. Courage, little darling, you will be victorious.

    Much love,

    M.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You should keep blogging your truth. There are some who won't like it, but so what?? Your blog can sometimes be difficult for APs to read but that is exactly why we need to read it. There are too many self-righteous APs out there who need to be called out. When I read entries by your Blog of Shame winners, I either feel embarrassed that as an AP I am somehow lumped with them or I find them hilarious because they are so CLUELESS - unfortunately it is their child who will bear the brunt of their ignorance. Your perspective is important.

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  20. NEVER NEVER NEVER stop writing. Write about whatever you want. It's your voice. I'm finding that out for myself since I'm absolutely forced in to silence in my 'real' life (if you could call it that). If you let them silence you, they win. DON'T EVER STOP WRITING!!!!

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  21. WOW. All victims become abusers??! What ignorance. Christina, people want problems to resolve like on tv - in thirty minutes. Then you move on and never think about it again. I think it is healthy to blog about what is on your mind. The truth of the matter it hurts and it always will hurt. That will never go away. I think you should blog about whatever it is you feel the urge to write. If that so happens to be about your past, then so be it. This is your section of the internet and you should be able to do what you want to do with it.

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  22. Christina-

    You and I have had some discussions public and private about the best way to wake up and educate PAP's to the whole truth of adoption. And even though I have disagreed with you at times I would never tell you to stop blogging nor to stop calling folks out in your Blog of Shame. There are some folks out there that will not hear anything more gentle. And you know what - you blog your truth in your space - which you have every right to do. Blog how and what you want. Don't let anyone shut you down.

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  23. The people who write those award worthy blogs are not nice people. This is why they write horrible posts about adoption. They are usually people who think they are fantastic and get really angry if you don't agree with them. They can't just see that someone has given them a Blog of Shame award and leave it, they will always want to get revenge.
    The trick is to find ways to protect yourself against their backlash. Because they are scummy by nature you will get tarnished by their poison if you engage in contact.
    I suggest you write your blogs of shame and then don't have a conversation with them.

    ReplyDelete

Share your words of wisdom with the rest of the class. :)