Along with the comments that you all left on this post, I also received an email from Sandy, a fellow adoptee (and kindred spirit). She came up with a few more phrases that I'd forgotten:
"Gotcha Day - How does your family celebrate?"...Yup Sandy, I hate that one too. The whole "gotcha" thing always makes me think of a B-grade horror flick where the bad guy jumps out of the bushes and grabs the poor, unsuspecting cheerleader.
Forever Home - "We want to give a child a forever home." ...Yeah, one that can erase all sense of self in a single bound as soon as you walk through the door.
AP's being upset about Humane Societies using "Adopt a Pet" themes - "takes away from 'their adoptions' and is 'confusing to the child'" ...I'm STILL confused by adoption and I'm a frigging adult.
"Medical history may be nice to have but you can be proactive in how you live your life" ...Never heard this one myself, and for that I'm very thankful...::vomit::
Thanks Sandy...appreciate you stopping by!
Especially like the last one which I hadn't heard before and I don't actually see any connection between the two parts of the statement.I think what particularly appeals is the concept of a medical history being 'nice to have' like a new pair of shoes or a good cup of coffee.In that contaxt I guess birth mothers are nice to have too.
ReplyDeleteThe last one has been publicly said by both my maternal source and her awful husband.
ReplyDeleteOh, I HATE "forever family"! I'm not even gonna get started on how much I hate it.
ReplyDeleteVon ~ Yeah, kind of like our OBC's would be nice to have too..lol.
ReplyDeleteElaine ~ No offense, but your maternal source and her icky husband are complete asshats.
Mongoose ~ Two posts in less than a week that we can agree on?? What is the world coming to?! ;)
Well they're both on the same topic though, so that doesn't really count as two posts.
ReplyDeleteBlech to most of those for sure. The "forever home" thing I am conflicted on. One of my children comes from an orphanage; having a "forever home" has been a term he has used, and he has expressed his understanding that he would likely not have survived in his country of origin for a multiple of very valid reasons.
ReplyDeleteAlso, one of my children came to us through social services and had been in foster care and multiple placements since age 2. He was removed with sibs due to safety issues. he flat out asked me if we were his forever home. There was a real fear of moving around that those words assuaged. Those are the only 2 instances out of my 4 kids though where the phrase has ever come up.
I get what you are saying Lee..I do. I guess from my own personal perspective, growing up with abusive shitweasels, realizing that they were supposed to be my "forever family" really caused my spirit to crumble..that's the place I'm coming from.
ReplyDeleteForever home is just strange to me - like we will never move? I never expect my children to grow up and move out on their own? I love them but shudder at that thought. I do tell Little Man - in English and Russian that I will love him forever and we will be his parents forever.
ReplyDelete"abusive shitweasels" - that's positively brilliant, Cricket!!!! Put a smile on my face this morning for some reason.
ReplyDeleteMelynda
Nothing is forever - the number of divorced APs I know is good proof of that. This one bugs me in particular because adoption agencies continue to perpetuate this notion.
ReplyDeleteFor grins I went and googled this phrase:
"adoption agency" "forever family"
The results are depressing.