Friday, April 23, 2010

Desperate Much?

I'm totally excited in a desperate sort of way today. Confused? Yeah, me too.

My nsister, Cate, is on a cruise with her deceased fiance's aunt in the Bahamas. I decided that since my children are away for the week, I'd ask my mother, Christine, if she was busy Saturday night. She's not, and so I invited myself to her apartment that she shares with Cate for an overnight. She sounded super psyched for the visit.

The thing is, I've really never spent a significant amount of time with just Christine. Cate's always around to kind of fill in the weird silences (she talks A LOT)..or my kids are underfoot. I'm kind of nervous and am getting butterflies.

It's not like we *just* reunited…that happened back in July of 2008. We've had plenty of time together, although I'd love to see her more. Cate and Chris have a very easy mother-daughter relationship…and while Chris can drive Cate crazy, the love I see between the two of them inspires me to be a better mom. There is jealousy though. I see the pictures around their apartment of the family that I'm part of, and yet not completely a part of. I see the soft way that Chris speaks of Cate and my brother Greg and wish with all my heart that I'd grown up in that environment.

I know I'll have a good time…we'll have a great visit…but I'll drive away wishing for more.


  1. Wishing you a wonderful visit. Remember, silences don't have to be awkward--I have to keep reminding myself of this sometimes. LOL I tend to be kind of a yakker myself!

  2. I'm also a reunited adoptee. We live far apart so by the second visit we jumped to staying in the same house. The wierd silences do suck but then they get filled and for us it has allowed to our relationship to progress further. Not to mention waking up in the same house as your Mom, is just cool. Best of luck!

  3. LOL I know what you mean and its been 10 years for us. Rachael and I went to a bastard hook up in Ohio over Christmas, there were several people in the Ohio area for the holidays and we all got together. That was the 1st time my daughter and I had done anything that didn't involve at least 10 relatives. Her kids, my boys, hubby's friends..... and we have yet to spend the night together alone. We keep hoping one day we will be able to just go off some where, get a room, and do what ever.

  4. I'm the opposite. I basically demand alone time with my nmom which is not easy since the children she raised are very attached and usually act out when we try to have alone time.

    I think this trip will be very good for both of you.

  5. Oh and just to clarify, the children my mother raised are actually adults.
    They are just somewhat immature adults who don't like to share.

    But I'm not bitter.



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