The thing is, I never had those talks with my amother. I think she just threw a medical book at me and told me to read it. My asister had already been through getting her period and all that stuff four years prior and I'm pretty sure she had just thrown the same book at my sister, hoping that she (and I) wouldn’t have any questions.
A few months ago, I was talking to my natural mom about it…and she said, "For Cate's (my natural sister) tenth birthday, I put together a "Big Girl Basket" and put all sorts of body lotions, deodrants, shaving cream, razors…pads, tampons..etc. etc. in it….". Hearing that really brought home the fact that my upbringing was so different than what it might have been. You just didn't talk about such things in my house…sex was definitely not a topic that was discussed..ever..except in the context of "only sluts have sex before marriage". Funny, by that definition, both my asister and I ended up being sluts in the eyes of our parents in spite of the fear of God we had instilled into our hearts and souls.
The other day, Madelyn wrote me an email before bed (using my computer, right in front of me..lol) and then literally ran into her room to avoid starting a conversation. This is how the email exchange went:
Sent: Tue, Mar 23, 2010 9:01 pm
Subject: ummmmm hi
Hey Mum......I love u. How are you.......I uh I don't know
I wanna wear a bra.Please don't discuss it now.........I'm sorry.I don't have to .......bye
OMG. So I calmed myself down (I admit I was laughing really hard)…and replied:
On Tue, Mar 23, 2010 at 9:35 PM,
Hi Mad...I love you too :) We'll discuss it another day then sweetheart, okay? No worries..we'll know when it's time to go shopping...
I was pretty proud of myself for the way I responded…and then the next day, I got this:
From: xxxxxxx >
Sent: Wed, Mar 24, 2010 7:48 pm
Subject: Re: ummmmm hi
Ummmm......ok.....I really am sorry that it was so sudden.....I just sorta felt like it was time....Love you more than you know
Love Madelyn ps....is it almost time?
So, this weekend, I brought her to the store and we walked in…me striding purposefully towards the girls' section, she following behind me asking what we were getting. I didn't answer her, just kept walking right over to the girls' bras. She said, "Now??? We're doing this now???"…lol…
She picked out some cute sports bra type garments and handed them to me very quickly so she wouldn't be seen carrying them and avoided eye contact with anyone and everyone in the store, including me, until we left.
Turns out three of her friends have gotten them in recent weeks and she wanted to wear one too. My boyfriend chortled in amusement when I told him what we'd gotten…"But Honey, she doesn't NEED one yet…". I said, "That's not the point. She WANTS to wear one..and I'm not going to be like my mother and pretend that such things don’t need special attention." He shut up fairly quickly after that. Smart man.