Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Been MIA the past few has been absolutely INSANE with Quarter and Year end looming. Thankfully, it all dies down tomorrow and then will start all over again next year.

Christmas was great...the kids were super excited to get their PS2 (a gently used hand-me-down from my manager) along with the 20 games they got to go along with it. Madelyn got her Heely's (you know, those stupid sneakers with the even more stupid wheels) and her pink soccer ball..and Chase got his "big boy" scooter and tons of arts and crafts stuff to keep his busy hands

My amom and asister (along with her husband, MIL and two boys) came over for crappetizers and dessert...and then a little before they left my nmom and nsister came. I have to admit that it was terribly awkward there for a little while. No one really knew how to bridge the gap..and so, it wasn't bridged. But they were cordial to each other. I was relieved when everyone else had left and it was just my nmom, nsister, Steven and Madelyn in the house...(Chase spent the day with his dad and his family).

I'd written to my asister before Christmas..telling her that I wasn't trying to be selfish by inviting my nfamily. That I just wanted to share the holiday with both of my families...I didn't get her response until I returned to work on Monday:

In some ways bringing the biological family and the adoptive family together is like bringing together the ex-wife and current wife, children from first marriage and children from second marriage, all to celebrate together.

Everybody has to work a little extra hard to be okay, and it takes time. Of course you're not selfish to want to do it, and hopefully you know that the other people aren't meaning to be selfish either.

I'll be honest, Chrissy, it hits me on a deep level that you have another sister. That's my issue, not yours, and I certainly don't begrudge you a relationship with Cate and wouldn't want you to keep Cate and I separate because of it. But it still makes me feel weepy. So I imagine it's similar for mom. Make any sense?

So, I read that part of her email and immediately started feeling really crappy for putting them through it. And as much as I didn't want to feel selfish, that's exactly how I ended up feeling.


  1. I don't think you need to feel selfish. I think she was just trying to share her feelings with you and it doesn't sound like she begrudges you at all.

  2. Cricket -

    I think JM is right - sounds like she understands and was just trying to help you understand her feelings as well - not at all like they expect you to feel bad for them. You can't stop what feelings come over you I think but you can work on which you hold on to so let this one kind of wahs over and past you. Your a caring person - you feel for both sides of your family but you don't have to beat yourself up for their feelings. They own those just like you own yours.


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