Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Best of Intentions

You know, I really try to get along with my ex and his wife. I do. Sometimes things just get to me and I snap.

I've started a wedding blog. Dorky, I know..but I figured not everyone here would care about my day to day stressing out about planning for this grand event so I'd keep it separate. Lol...I can't blog about what I'm about to say on that site though and here's why.

So, I'm into crochet. I love the peace it brings me and has brought me for over ten years. I still consider myself a beginner because I stick to scarves, bags and shawls at the moment but the rush I feel when I finish a piece is exhilarating.

I'm also a member of a Crochet forum...and have been for four years. I was mainly a lurker until recently but had gotten many ideas from the people there and finally decided to start posting. I linked my wedding blog to my signature there and left it at that.

The other day, I noticed that my ex's wife had commented on one of my posts..and then had deleted it. For some background, she commented on a post where I had a picture of a daisy I had crocheted.

I assumed that either she 1.) is a member of the crochet forum (DS has told me that she crochets too) as well and mistakenly commented and realized that it was me afterwards and decided to delete it or 2.) she wanted to make peace and actually get to know me but got nervous about my possible response and tried to get rid of it.

Yeah, three guesses on which option it was..the first two guesses don't count.

Here is the email exchange between us.

My email to her:

"Hi K, it’s Christina.
To answer the question you deleted on my blog, we don’t have a date yet.
I’m assuming you found me from <crochet forum name>?...If that’s it, I don’t even know what your username is.
I’m not trying to make anything uncomfortable for you by emailing you. Just wanted to let you know that I don’t care if you read my blog or not.

Her response to me:

"Look its simple.  Yeah the <crochet forum name> was where I stumbled upon you.  I’m pretty active there.  I wasn’t looking for you.  When I figured out it was you I immediately deleted my comment on your blog.
 You and I are connected through <DS> and that’s it.  Past him, I want nothing about you in my life.
 If the engagement’s true, congratulations.  Being married to the man you love more than life is a blessing that I’ve had in my life now for a few years.

My response that I'm NOT proud of...but made me feel A LOT better at the time:

"Ummm…yes, it is simple.   You commented on my blog, deleted it and I was just responding to your comment.
 No need to be passive aggressive..lol.
 I wouldn’t make up being engaged…only a sad person would do that, wouldn’t you agree?
 I will not email you again..I can assure you, aside from having to deal with you for DS’s sake, I want nothing to do with you either.
 Oh, and I’m really glad you and <Ex's name> are happy…it has always been clear that the two of you deserve each other.  Here’s to true love!”.

The bit about the making up being engaged is because many years ago, before she married my ex, she posted on Myspace that they had gotten married...months before they actually tied the knot.  Her comment that if my engagement was true really rubbed me the wrong way.

I hate drama.  And I really hate being hated.  But I guess I just have to suck it up.  It is not my fault that she married my ex and has to deal with my son.  And unfortunately, because I'm his mother, she has to deal with me too, especially when she's the one who is typically sent to pick up and drop off my son on the weekends he's with them.  Lol..it was very "chilly" at the drop off point this weekend.  Part of me wanted to shove my ring in her face and say, "See???"...but THAT would be juvenile...and after I calmed down, I decided that her opinion of me doesn't matter. 

Yes friends, I know that my last response to her was snarky.  I think I wasn't expecting her email to be so cold...but you live and learn, right?  

If you are interested in the link for my wedding blog and aren't on my adoptee FB page, email me at opphiejane at gmail dot com and I'll hook you up!  (Get it, I like to crochet and I'll "hook" you up???)  No?  Lol.


  1. You do what you have to do... She should have left the comment up and emailed you that she hadn't realized it was you. Then she could have left it alone. Oh well.

    I'd love to hear wedding details! I love stuff like that :-)

  2. Thanks Jenn...I'm moving on from it..just was feeling like I had to vent this morning..lol.

    And email me (opphiejane @ gmail dot com) and I'll give you the link! :)

  3. She is really an immature sad little person isn't she? I'm guessing now she is no longer your first choice for matron of honor? ROFL I'd love to read your wedding details too!

  4. Lol Lee...I almost spit out my coffee after reading your comment!!!

  5. I want to know the woes and triumphs!! And, for the record, I really didn't think your response was all that snarky. I can think of a lot 'snarkier' things to say to her, for sure!!

  6. Jen and Lee (and anyone else who wants the link)...email me!!! I updated the blog post with my email address in the last paragraph.



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