Friday, July 31, 2009

Reflections

My name is Christina.  My name would have been Elena Katherine.  I grew up with an older adopted sister.  I would have had a younger brother and sister.  I grew up in central Massachusetts.  I would have grown up on the North Shore by the ocean of Massachusetts.  I grew up emotionally, physically and sexually abused.  I might have had a happy childhood.  I grew up odd and alone.  I might have been normal. 

I wish I were normal.

Six days after my birth I was "chosen"...errr...I was "given with love"...ummm....fuck it.  I was given up.  And it wasn't until I was contacted last July by my natural mother that I realized how deeply that has affected me and has made me the person I am today. 

It's like I've been the captain of my very own ghost ship..drifting aimlessly at sea.  And now, the clear sound of the foghorn is bringing me safely back to the harbor. 

I've started other blogs about this journey before...but I've stopped and restarted too many times to mention.  No more.  I will be open and honest about my feelings for the first time. 

I'm ready.